Prenuptial agreements. Should you get one?

I didn’t have a prenuptial agreement. My story.

When I got married with my ex-wife, Cheryl, we didn’t sign a prenuptial agreement. Did you? Would you?

At the time, we both had a little money—just a few thousand dollars each. We were young, didn’t have much, and weren’t concerned about dividing assets in case of a divorce. In fact, the idea of divorce never crossed our minds.

When we eventually divorced, we didn’t split everything exactly equally, but it was close enough. We took inventory of what we had brought into the relationship and what we’d built together. Without any disputes, we divided our assets fairly. Our divorce was amicable, and we remain good friends to this day, still working together professionally. Cheryl kept everything in the apartment, and I left with only my two most valuable possessions—my phone and laptop.

We were fortunate that financial issues didn’t arise after our divorce, but many couples aren’t so lucky. Many face contentious, painful divorce proceedings that lead to fierce money disputes.

What Are Prenuptial Agreements?

A prenuptial agreement is a contract between a couple, agreed upon and signed before getting married or entering a civil union. This contract outlines how shared property and assets will be divided in the event of divorce or separation. Sometimes, couples also create postnuptial agreements—agreements made after marriage.

Each country, state, or province has its own rules for prenuptial agreements, but the general practice in North America involves having separate attorneys for each party and they are signed by both parties in front of a notary or witnesses.

Prenuptial agreements can cover more than just financial matters. They can dictate lifestyle choices, such as decisions about having children, raising them with specific dietary or religious practices, and even include unconventional clauses, like how often a couple should engage in intimacy, weight limits, or limits on TV time.

What If We Break Up?

Most couples start a relationship hoping to spend their lives together, rarely considering the possibility of separation. When couples marry as financial equals and later separate as equals, not having a prenuptial agreement doesn’t usually have serious consequences. I believe that, in general, most couples don’t need a prenuptial agreement.

The general rule in a divorce is that all assets acquired before and during the marriage are split equally. For instance, if one partner enters the marriage with $1 million and the other with nothing, that $1 million would typically be divided equally in the event of a divorce. In such cases, a prenuptial agreement could benefit the wealthier partner.

Consider another example: a couple with similar financial standing marries and has a child. One partner chooses to stay home with the child while the other continues working and eventually accumulates significant wealth. If they divorce, I believe that wealth should be shared equally.

The Problem with Prenuptial Agreements

The biggest issue with prenuptial agreements is that they can feel incredibly unromantic. Here you are, professing eternal love, yet you’re discussing asset division in case things go south. It can feel like you’re negotiating a divorce before even saying, “I do.” This can be especially tense with lawyers on each side, negotiating every detail.

Donald Trump put it bluntly:

“Believe me, there’s nothing fun about it. But there comes a time when you have to say, ‘Darling, I think you’re magnificent, and I care for you deeply, but if things don’t work out, this is what you’re going to get.’”

The Benefits of Prenuptial Agreements

Despite the awkwardness, prenuptial agreements offer transparency. Both partners lay their assets on the table, along with an agreement on how they’ll be divided in case of divorce.

Protects family inheritance: Ensures family assets remain with family members.
Secures assets for children from previous marriages: Guarantees that their inheritance is safeguarded.
Simplifies divorce proceedings: Makes the process smoother and less contentious if the relationship ends.

Conclusion

Most couples don’t need a prenuptial agreement. When a couple starts from the same economic standing, it’s logical for both to share equally in what they build together, regardless of who’s the primary earner.

However, when there’s a substantial wealth gap before marriage, a prenuptial agreement can make sense. If one partner brings over a million dollars into the relationship and the other brings nothing, it’s reasonable to ask, “How will we divide this if our relationship doesn’t work out?” and create a written agreement.

Similarly, prenuptial agreements are often wise when one partner brings children or significant assets from a previous relationship.

What About You?

Under what conditions would you consider a prenuptial agreement necessary?
When would a prenuptial agreement be a deal-breaker?
Have you ever written a prenuptial agreement?

Let us know in the comments below.

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