When I was 17 years old, my mother told me:

“In my house, you follow my rules or you move out!”

I wasn’t a rebellious or argumentative child, but I wasn’t submissive either. So, I chose to move out. I moved in with my girlfriend, who was a few years older and had her own place.

I don’t remember the specifics of our financial arrangements, but we never had any money issues. Our relationship didn’t last long, though—I was simply too immature. She dumped me within a year.

But there I was, too proud to go back home.

Fortunately, I was considered good-looking, and within a few weeks, I found myself moving in with another girlfriend. And so it went—I lived through a series of relationships. I’ll spare you the personal details, but I will share the financial lessons I learned while living with a partner.

Things to Consider When Moving In Together

Big-time savings

When a couple moves in together, there’s significant potential to save money. Sure, there are some up-front costs like finding the best moving company and setting up added utilities, but in general, you can begin to share household living duties from then on. They share one bedroom, one kitchen, one bathroom, and one living room. Maybe they’ll have a second bedroom for personal space.

The savings on utilities, food, and entertainment can also be substantial. It’s cheaper to cook at home and “Netflix and chill” than to go out to a restaurant and a movie.

Who pays what?

Generally, people date others in similar economic situations. Though it’s possible to date someone who earns significantly more or less, such cases are less common.

Separate Accounts: This is a common arrangement. Each person keeps their own bank accounts. They split shared expenses, like rent and utilities, 50/50, while other personal expenses, such as phone or car payments, are paid individually.

For discretionary expenses like going to the movies, dining out, or vacations, couples often develop their own system. All approaches can work, as long as there’s goodwill and understanding.

Joint Account: Some couples create a joint account to which both contribute, typically in proportion to their income. This account is used for shared expenses like rent and utilities, while personal spending is managed from individual accounts. This arrangement is convenient because it automates finances, eliminating the need for monthly money exchanges. I highly recommend this option.

Things to Watch Out For

The Spreadsheet Person: I once knew a girl whose boyfriend meticulously tracked every shared expense down to the penny in a spreadsheet. Needless to say, she broke up with him after a few months. While this works for some people, it’s not ideal for everyone.

The Moocher: I’ve known couples where one partner contributes very little financially. I was in a relationship like that once. My girlfriend was sweet, but I quickly grew resentful. Our relationship didn’t last more than a couple of months after we moved in together.

Tax consequences

Once you’re living in a conjugal relationship, you are treated differently by tax authorities. The consequences vary by province, but in many cases, you’ll need to file taxes as a household rather than as individuals. This can be beneficial, depending on your financial situation.

Legal consequences

Moving in together can have legal consequences. In some provinces, after two or three years of cohabitation, you may be considered common-law partners, which can impose legal obligations on one or both partners.

Dealing with debt

Each partner is responsible for any debts in their own name. This includes credit card debt, student loans, and car payments. However, for debts acquired jointly—where both signatures are on the loan—the creditor can seek repayment from either partner. If one partner can’t pay, the other is liable.

What if they have a child together

Having a child changes the dynamics of a relationship. Both partners become responsible for the child’s well-being.

If one partner stays home to care for the child, the other becomes the sole breadwinner. In this case, although one person earns the money, it belongs to both partners. In the event of separation, the breadwinner is legally responsible for supporting both the child and the ex-partner.

Division of property in case of separation

When a couple gets married, their possessions typically become joint property. In the event of divorce, everything is divided equally.

However, when an unmarried couple moves in together, this isn’t automatically the case. Each partner keeps what they brought into the relationship. For example, if I own a house and have a savings account when I meet my girlfriend, I get to keep those if we separate. I don’t have to split them.

However, anything acquired together is considered joint property. You may decide to divide it in a way that seems fair to both, but if the issue goes to court, the division could be 50/50.

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