How to Deal With Fear of Success

How did we develop our fear

For thousands of years fear has kept us alive.

When we were cavemen, if something moved behind the bushes, we ran, or we approached with extreme caution.

Our most fearful ancestors survived, and those ancestors who were not fearful probably got eaten by the sable-toothed tiger.

In our modern-day, that kind of fear is less relevant. We don’t live in nature with the animals. We don’t have to fear being eaten.

However, our fear-gene took thousands of years to develop and it hasn’t disappeared simply because we live in a more advanced society.

Our fear is more intense when we step out of the pack

Two million years ago, in the African Savanna, we were small pitiful small-brained ape-looking creatures, without the strength nor the speed to hunt and survive, says anthropologist Professor Henry Bunn of Wisconsin University.

However, our superpower was that we learned how to cooperate with each other and as a group, we were able to use complex hunting techniques to ambush and kill antelopes, gazelles, wildebeest, and other large animals.

The only way to survive was to work together, to cooperate. Being part of the pack was an opportunity to stay alive. Being separated from the pack, was a death sentence.

So we learned to comply with the group. Our social skills developed enough to learn how to conform and to submit to everyone’s expectations.

We don’t need to conform any more to survive

Sure, we do need to conform to society’s rules in order to survive in a modern world, but we don’t need to conform to everyone’s expectations around us.

If we leave our beer-drinking buddies and start hanging out with people who have bigger ambitions for themselves, we don’t have to fear for our lives. Sure, we might lose our beer-drinking friends, but we may gain more valuable friends and be part of a better pack.

Nevertheless, we fear change, we fear leaving our pack, we fear the unknown, we fear disappointing the people around us and we conform to their expectations. We conform to society’s expectations.

I left my tribe to come to Canada

Long time ago, I left my country to come to Canada.

Yes, I miss part of my past life, but leaving my tribe to join a different tribe has greatly improved my life. Now I speak three languages and have a set of skills that no one else in my old tribe has. I can make money on the internet, I can make money through my online investments, while most people in my country only speak one language, don’t know how to hustle online, and don’t how to invest in stocks.

It’s OK if you leave your tribe to do something different

Many of the interviews I have had until now have been about people who have abandoned their toxic environment in order to search for a better life.

You too, you can leave your pack, and look for a new group, a group where you can grow.

Steven Pressfield said in The War of Art that we live two lives: our default life and the unlived life.

“The more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it.
Resistance is experienced as fear; the degree of fear equates to the strength of Resistance. Therefore, the more fear we feel about a specific enterprise, the more certain we can be that that enterprise is important to us and to the growth of our soul.”

How do we overcome our fear

Embrace your fear

For years I was afraid of doing a podcast. I gave myself all kinds of excuses (some of them were valid), but one day I embraced my fear, picked up the microphone, and now I have been podcasting for three years and I hope to do it for the rest of my life.

Don’t expect immediate success

Guest what? My podcast downloads suck. I compare myself with Joe Rogan, who has millions of downloads per episode, while I barely have a hundred, and I feel underwhelmed. I tell myself that I will never be successful. And then, the next day, I pick up my microphone, and I do another episode.

Success takes time. Many times, it comes long after you stopped enjoying the activity that got you started. Sometimes, it comes while you still enjoy the activity.

One thing is certain. In order for you to achieve that success that you want, you have to continue trying.

You may never become the person, you want to become, but when you are on the battlefield, fighting for your dream, for your goal, your life is more meaningful than sitting on your couch living a life of regret.

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