During this pandemic, you might be forced to spend more time with your partner and/or family members than ever before. In order for your relationship to survive, you have to become a better communicator.

At the beginning of the pandemic, being stuck at home was a novelty, but now it’s been more than six months that people have been working and studying from home. Maybe you are wishing for a little bit more ‘alone time,’ or you are beginning to get into more arguments. Statistics show that more people are filing for divorce during the pandemic.

If you care about your relationship, it’s time to sharpen those communication and listening skills, they may be the glue that holds your relationship together. You have to make sure you are a better communicator.

Here are some tips to foster good communication with your partner.

Give your partner the floor

This is an expression we use at our Toastmasters Club, a public speaking club. It comes from calling over the speaker and giving them the floor for them to do their speech.

In interpersonal relationships, it means to allow your partner to speak uninterrupted. Pay attention to them, give them body language signals that confirm you are listening to them.

Try to let them finish their message before you start formulating a response. Many people don’t really listen, they just wait their turn to voice their opinions.

Most people just want to express their frustration or challenges about one thing of the other, when you give them that space, when you let them speak without cutting them off, 80% of the communication has been achieved.

Rephrase what you understood

Communication is very complex. Sometimes what a person wants to say and what they actually say are not the same thing. And on the receiving end, sometimes, what a person hears and what they understand is not the same thing either.

The only way to reduce that communication gap is by repeating, in your own words, what you understood. “What I hear you saying is that…,” “If I understand correctly, what you want is…”

This has happened to me many times. I hear one thing but I understand another. At this moment there are two possible outcomes. Either you understood correctly, or you didn’t. If you didn’t understand correctly, your partner has one more opportunity, to re-explain their point of view.

Resist the urge to fill the silent gaps

If your partner stops talking, don’t be in a hurry to break the silence. Often times, much of the communication and listening happens when no one is talking. When you stay silent for a prolonged frame of time, your partner will feel inclined to communicate even more. Eventually, they will speak and say that thing they didn’t dare to say at first.

Ask your partner to explain more

If you are not 100% certain you understand what your partner is saying, ask them to elaborate. Use open-ended questions such as, “Can you tell me more about that?” or “I didn’t understand what you just said, can you say it again?”

Conclusion

Of course, not every conversation has to be perfect, but if you make an effort, your partner will reciprocate by making an effort and communication will flow effortlessly and you will become a better communicator.

This pandemic could strengthen your relationship. It all comes down to your communication skills.

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