I was the chairperson at a Toastmasters meeting. The theme of the evening was Holloween. So I decided to say a few words about why we are so afraid of public speaking.
We are tribal animals
When we used to walk the African Savannah, 10,000 years ago, we traveled in packs. Whenever we were part of the pack, we were included and protected. Whenever we were apart from the pack, we felt vulnerable and exposed.
Imagine a saber-toothed tiger deciding which human to have for dinner, the humans who are together (in a pack) or a human who is isolated from the pack?
Humans who were in small groups tended to survive better and to pass their genes to future generations. Humans who were loners tended to die and thus not pass their genes to future generations.
Fear of isolation in our mother day society
Today, we don’t fear anymore the saber-toothed tiger, but the fears of isolation is very similar and very real.
As cruel as it is, bullying comes from a group of kids, harassing or making fun of the kid that seems to be more vulnerable.
Discrimination in all its formats have the same roots, a group of people in poser takes advantage or abuse a minority group.
Public speaking revives all our fears and insecurities
When we deliver a speech, once again, we are isolated from our pack. In fact, we are facing the pack, and feel that they are judging us, waiting for us to make a mistake to criticize you.
Overcoming your fears
The fact is, that most of the time, the audience wants you to succeed. If you succeed, you have educated them or entertained them, and they are getting a good return for their time.
Developing your speaking and leadership skills
I use Toastmasters as a platform to practice and develop my speaking skills. I started with speaking roles of under one minute. Then built it up to regular speeches of 5 to 7 minutes.
In the beginning, I was overwhelmed with fears and insecurities, but after I realized that the tribe didn’t abandon me, and I didn’t get eaten by the saber-toothed tiger, I did it again, and again. Every time I did it, I was a bit less fearful. The words started flowing out of my mouth. My brain started organizing sentences in my mind before delivering.
In short, it has been a long process, but now I seek public speaking and I recommend it as a vehicle to increase your reach, your influence, and to become a better leader.
Additional techniques for becoming a better speaker
You could be the best speaker in the world, but if you don’t have something to talk about, then, no one will listen to you.
When you speak, you either inform or entertain. For that, you have to have information to deliver.
Read. I have found one of the best ways to say things that matter is constantly educated yourself. Read every day. Have some information of value to deliver.
Write. Reading is good, but only when you reorganize your ideas in your head, and write them down, they become part of your subconscious.
Record yourself. Once you have expressed ideas in writing, if you verbalize them, talking to a group of friends, or recording yourself, then you are on your way to becoming a great speaker.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help
Seeking assistance from a public speaking coach is an empowering step towards becoming a more confident and effective speaker. It’s crucial to recognize that even the most accomplished speakers have honed their skills through guidance and practice. By reaching out for help, you demonstrate a commitment to personal growth and a willingness to conquer any fears or insecurities that may have held you back.